You and your partner keep having the same fight. Or maybe one of you is stuck in a loop of reassurance-seeking — asking "do you really love me?" or "are you sure we're okay?" over and over, never quite feeling settled. Or perhaps anxiety has quietly taken over: one partner withdrawing, the other trying to manage the worry, and both of you exhausted.

If any of that sounds familiar, you're not alone — and it's not a sign that your relationship is broken. It's a sign that something deeper is going on, and that couples therapy might be exactly what you need.

I'm Katie Hummel, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in St. Petersburg, FL. I specialize in OCD, anxiety disorders, and couples counseling — and I work with couples who are navigating the very real ways anxiety and OCD can show up in a relationship.

How Anxiety and OCD Affect Relationships

Anxiety doesn't stay contained to one person. It moves through a relationship — shaping how you communicate, how you fight, how you connect, and how safe each of you feels.

Some of the most common patterns I see:

• Reassurance cycles: One partner asks for reassurance repeatedly; the other provides it, which temporarily relieves anxiety but reinforces the cycle long-term.
• Avoidance: Anxious partners may avoid conflict, difficult conversations, or situations that trigger their anxiety — leaving important things unsaid.
• Hypervigilance: One partner is constantly scanning for signs of a problem, interpreting neutral moments as threats to the relationship.
• Emotional withdrawal: When anxiety or OCD becomes overwhelming, one or both partners may shut down or disconnect.

These patterns aren't character flaws. They're anxiety doing what anxiety does — trying to protect you. But over time, they can erode trust, intimacy, and connection.

What Is ROCD — and Is It Affecting Your Relationship?

Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a subtype of OCD where intrusive thoughts and compulsions center on your romantic relationship. If you or your partner experience ROCD, you might recognize thoughts like:

• "What if I don't really love them?"
• "What if they're not the right person for me?"
• "What if I'm only staying out of fear?"
• "What if I'm not attracted to them anymore?"

These thoughts feel urgent and real — but they're driven by OCD, not genuine doubt. The compulsions that follow (seeking reassurance, mentally reviewing the relationship, comparing your partner to others) provide temporary relief but keep the cycle going.

ROCD can be incredibly isolating. The person experiencing it often feels ashamed of their thoughts and afraid to tell their partner. The partner, meanwhile, may feel confused, hurt, or like they're never enough.

Couples therapy that understands ROCD can help both partners make sense of what's happening — and work together rather than against each other.

How I Work with Couples

My approach to couples therapy is grounded in a few core principles.

Understanding what each person brings. Before we can change patterns, we need to understand them. I take time to learn each person's history, attachment style, and the experiences that shaped how they show up in relationships. This isn't about assigning blame — it's about building compassion and clarity.

Evidence-based tools that actually work. I draw from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify the thought patterns and behaviors keeping conflict in place. When OCD or anxiety is part of the picture, I incorporate Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) principles — helping couples break reassurance cycles and build tolerance for uncertainty together. Mindfulness practices help both partners slow down and respond rather than react.

A person-centered foundation. Every couple is different. I don't apply a one-size-fits-all protocol. We work collaboratively, at your pace, toward goals that actually matter to you.

Honest, direct work. I'm not a blank-slate therapist. I'll reflect what I'm observing, offer perspective when it's useful, and gently challenge patterns that aren't serving you — while always keeping the work grounded in respect and care.

When OCD or Anxiety Is Part of the Relationship

Sometimes one partner has a diagnosed anxiety disorder or OCD. Sometimes neither has a diagnosis, but anxiety is clearly running the show. Either way, couples therapy can help.

A few situations where I commonly work with couples:

• One partner has OCD and the other has unknowingly become part of the compulsion cycle (providing reassurance, accommodating avoidance)
• Anxiety is causing one partner to withdraw or shut down emotionally
• ROCD is creating persistent doubt and distance
• Panic or health anxiety is affecting intimacy or daily functioning as a couple
• Past trauma is shaping how one or both partners respond to conflict or closeness

You don't need a diagnosis to benefit from couples therapy. You just need to be willing to show up and do the work.

The Benefits of In-Person Therapy in St. Petersburg

There's something about being in the same room that matters. In-person therapy allows for a different kind of presence — you can read each other's body language, sit with silence, and feel the weight of what's being said in a way that's harder to replicate on a screen.

My office is in St. Petersburg, FL, and I see couples in person here. If you're local to St. Pete, Clearwater, Tampa, or the surrounding Tampa Bay area, in-person sessions are available.

That said, I also offer telehealth throughout Florida — so if scheduling, distance, or comfort is a factor, we can absolutely work together online.

What to Expect When You Reach Out

Starting couples therapy can feel like a big step. Here's what the process looks like:

1. Free 45-minute consultation: We talk briefly about what's going on and whether I'm a good fit for what you're looking for. No pressure, no commitment.
2. Initial sessions: I meet with the couple together and, when helpful, individually — to get a full picture of each person's experience.
3. Ongoing work: We identify patterns, build new skills, and work toward the goals that matter most to you.

Sessions are $225 for couples. I'm a private-pay practice, which means I don't bill insurance — but I can provide a superbill if you'd like to seek reimbursement through your out-of-network benefits.

You Don't Have to Keep Having the Same Fight

Relationships are hard. Anxiety and OCD make them harder. But the patterns you're stuck in aren't permanent — they can change with the right support.

If you're in St. Petersburg or anywhere in Florida and you're ready to do something different, I'd love to hear from you. Reach out to schedule a free consultation and we'll figure out together whether couples therapy is the right next step.